Back to class...
What the notes on school reports really mean...
1: Satisfactory progress: I can't think of a single interesting thing to say about this person.
2: Easygoing: Bone idle.
3: Lively: Thoroughly disruptive.
4: Good progress: If you think his/her work was bad now, you should have seen it a year ago.
5: Sensitive: Never stops whining.
6: Helpful: A creep.
7: Reliable: Will always grass on their friends.
8: Adventurous: Will probably break their neck soon.
9: Has difficulty forming relationships: I can't stand him/her either.
10: Expresses themselves: Insolent.
11: Enjoys physical activites: A thug.
12: Popular: Sells obscene pictures.
13: Friendly: Never stops talking.
14: Easily distracted: Hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year.
15: Works better in groups: Dare not take my eye off him/her for a second.
16: Imaginative: Lies and cheats regularly.
17: Needs praise and encouragement: Thick as a plank.
18: Expresses themselves clearly: Foul mouthed.
19: Keen to do well: Has a big ego.
20: Does not accept authority easily: Father is in prison.
21: Is upset easily: Is spoiled rotten.
22: Often appears tired: Stays up all night watching porn films.
23: Works better at practical activities: Illiterate.
24: Good with his hands: Has a verry satisfied "partner".
25: Independantly minded: Totally obstinate.
26: Enjoys extracurricular activities: Sells cigarettes and drugs.
27: Determined: Totally lacking all scruples.
28: Inclined to daydream: Anything said goes in one ear and out the other.
29: Reads well aloud: In love with his/her own voice.
30: Quiet: Lacking any individuality whatsoever.
31: Easily influenced: The fall-guy.
32: A born leader: Runs a protection racket.
33: A vivid imagination: Never short of an excuse.
34: Does not give classes his/her full attention: Smokes cigarettes or drugs in the toilet.
35: Often need's guidance: Never out of the Principal's office.
36: Chooses his friends carefully: Mixes with revolutionaries.
37: Mixes well with students: Caught in bed with student.
38: Interacts well with teachers: Caught in bed with their lecturer.
1: Satisfactory progress: I can't think of a single interesting thing to say about this person.
2: Easygoing: Bone idle.
3: Lively: Thoroughly disruptive.
4: Good progress: If you think his/her work was bad now, you should have seen it a year ago.
5: Sensitive: Never stops whining.
6: Helpful: A creep.
7: Reliable: Will always grass on their friends.
8: Adventurous: Will probably break their neck soon.
9: Has difficulty forming relationships: I can't stand him/her either.
10: Expresses themselves: Insolent.
11: Enjoys physical activites: A thug.
12: Popular: Sells obscene pictures.
13: Friendly: Never stops talking.
14: Easily distracted: Hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year.
15: Works better in groups: Dare not take my eye off him/her for a second.
16: Imaginative: Lies and cheats regularly.
17: Needs praise and encouragement: Thick as a plank.
18: Expresses themselves clearly: Foul mouthed.
19: Keen to do well: Has a big ego.
20: Does not accept authority easily: Father is in prison.
21: Is upset easily: Is spoiled rotten.
22: Often appears tired: Stays up all night watching porn films.
23: Works better at practical activities: Illiterate.
24: Good with his hands: Has a verry satisfied "partner".
25: Independantly minded: Totally obstinate.
26: Enjoys extracurricular activities: Sells cigarettes and drugs.
27: Determined: Totally lacking all scruples.
28: Inclined to daydream: Anything said goes in one ear and out the other.
29: Reads well aloud: In love with his/her own voice.
30: Quiet: Lacking any individuality whatsoever.
31: Easily influenced: The fall-guy.
32: A born leader: Runs a protection racket.
33: A vivid imagination: Never short of an excuse.
34: Does not give classes his/her full attention: Smokes cigarettes or drugs in the toilet.
35: Often need's guidance: Never out of the Principal's office.
36: Chooses his friends carefully: Mixes with revolutionaries.
37: Mixes well with students: Caught in bed with student.
38: Interacts well with teachers: Caught in bed with their lecturer.
posted by Fred at 1:07 PM
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