Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups, porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. Telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

All the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself, adds no quality to the coffee in most cases just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups, and then began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee." It is the coffee that makes us who we are, not the cups : enjoy your coffee.

Wrong E-mail. Lol

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel.There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: December 26, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e- mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here.

LOL. New virus.

New Virus

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called:

Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest bar. Purchase the antidote known as:

Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE)
or
Bothersome-Employer-Eliminator-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Water

1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.



2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.





3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.



4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington Study.



5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.



6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain of up to 80% of sufferers.



7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.



8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Back to class...

What the notes on school reports really mean...

1: Satisfactory progress: I can't think of a single interesting thing to say about this person.
2: Easygoing: Bone idle.
3: Lively: Thoroughly disruptive.
4: Good progress: If you think his/her work was bad now, you should have seen it a year ago.
5: Sensitive: Never stops whining.
6: Helpful: A creep.
7: Reliable: Will always grass on their friends.
8: Adventurous: Will probably break their neck soon.
9: Has difficulty forming relationships: I can't stand him/her either.
10: Expresses themselves: Insolent.
11: Enjoys physical activites: A thug.
12: Popular: Sells obscene pictures.
13: Friendly: Never stops talking.
14: Easily distracted: Hasn't produced a single piece of good work all year.
15: Works better in groups: Dare not take my eye off him/her for a second.
16: Imaginative: Lies and cheats regularly.
17: Needs praise and encouragement: Thick as a plank.
18: Expresses themselves clearly: Foul mouthed.
19: Keen to do well: Has a big ego.
20: Does not accept authority easily: Father is in prison.
21: Is upset easily: Is spoiled rotten.
22: Often appears tired: Stays up all night watching porn films.
23: Works better at practical activities: Illiterate.
24: Good with his hands: Has a verry satisfied "partner".
25: Independantly minded: Totally obstinate.
26: Enjoys extracurricular activities: Sells cigarettes and drugs.
27: Determined: Totally lacking all scruples.
28: Inclined to daydream: Anything said goes in one ear and out the other.
29: Reads well aloud: In love with his/her own voice.
30: Quiet: Lacking any individuality whatsoever.
31: Easily influenced: The fall-guy.
32: A born leader: Runs a protection racket.
33: A vivid imagination: Never short of an excuse.
34: Does not give classes his/her full attention: Smokes cigarettes or drugs in the toilet.
35: Often need's guidance: Never out of the Principal's office.
36: Chooses his friends carefully: Mixes with revolutionaries.
37: Mixes well with students: Caught in bed with student.
38: Interacts well with teachers: Caught in bed with their lecturer.